Monday, January 22, 2018

Seen and Not Heard

I am working on a new book, Seen and Not Heard, which will be published by Rowman & Littlefield next year. The book considers the ways in which children, with a particular focus on children ages 5-12, are often not listened to, not take seriously, because of their status as children, and how life might be different if this were no longer the case. 

It seems to me that in the United States today, one of the last surviving almost universally acceptable prejudices is ageism — negative assumptions made about younger and older people based on their ages. Felt in a wide range of life situations, ageism manifests in, among other things, discriminatory practices, lack of or diminished autonomy, derogatory attitudes, and violence and neglect. One consequence of ageism is that what people of particular ages have to say is often ignored, patronized, or denigrated. 

This is a fact of life for most children.

Our attitudes toward children are, in fact, quite characteristic of judgments that have historically been made about many groups of people labeled as "inferior" in some way; not too long ago, for example, women were generally considered intellectually deficient and incapable of analyzing difficult and complex issues  and, therefore, not worthy of being heard. Sometimes when I hear an adult comment in a condescending way about a thoughtful remark made by a child — "Oh, that's so cute!" — I imagine how I would feel if that was the predominant response to speech by adult women.

Over the past 20-plus years, I have had the privilege of spending a lot of time listening to elementary school age children. To their thoughts and questions on a wide range of topics, including justice and fairness, art and beauty, goodness, identity, happiness, the environment, friendship, and life and death. It is constantly surprising to me that many adults don't see children as capable of taking on serious and complex topics, when in my experience they are so reliably eager to do so and so capable at it. One of the strengths children bring to the examination of the kinds of big questions they like to explore is a willingness to look straightforwardly at their own experiences and express candidly what they see, and to think imaginatively and openly about possible new ways to understand the world in which we live.

How might society be altered if adults recognized children as people capable of seeing clearly and contributing valuable insights about challenging issues? I believe that listening to children’s perspectives on issues such as justice, ethics, childhood, and death have the potential to both enrich children’s lives and enlarge our societal thinking about many important topics. If we really heard children, if we accorded them the respect due to people trying to think clearly and well about serious problems, in what ways might that change our world?

Tuesday, January 9, 2018


"Books! And cleverness! There are more important things - friendship and bravery . . .”
Hermione, age 11
From Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

Learning to make friends and figuring out what friendship involves is a significant part of the work of children, and once they enter school they spend more and more of their waking experience with their friends, in a way most adults no longer do. Frequently children mention having friends as essential to happiness. From school age through young adulthood, young people are often focused on making and keeping friends, and their friendships often influence their lives in deep and complex ways. As a result, many children spend time thinking about what makes someone a good friend and the importance of having friends.

A nice activity for stimulating reflection and discussion about friendship appears in the textbook I co-authored, Philosophy in Education: Questioning and Dialogue in SchoolsThe following description is adapted from the activity, which was created by Kelsey Satchel Kaul and Heather Van Wallendael when they were undergraduate students at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. 


Begin by giving each student one index card and asking the students to draw, without using representations of people (including stick figures, faces, and the like), a creative representation of a good friendship. Have the students then discuss their drawings in small groups, with students explaining why their drawings represent good friendships.

Bring the students back together and ask them to consider the following question as a large group: “What makes a friendship a good friendship?” Have the students contribute answers to this question based on their drawings, and then ask them if they would add anything else to the list.

After this general list is established, move to more specific questions on the nature of a good friendship:

  • Be sure to give the students about 10 seconds to think of their answers in silence before asking for hands.
  • Be prepared to acknowledge that several traits on the board are related. It might be helpful to use different colored markers to connect different traits as related to one another. For example, students might identify “trust” as the underlying reason for “feels safe to be around.”
  • If students disagree, be sure to ask them to respond specifically to one another, giving reasons in support of their positions.

Question 1: Which of the qualities on the board might be the most important to a good friendship? Why? 
This question can lead to a discussion about what is necessary for a good friendship and what is sufficient for a good friendship.

Question 2: Which quality on the board might be the most detrimental if it were absent? Why?
This question focuses on what is sufficient for a good friendship.

Question 3: If you could have a friend that had all of the listed traits except for one, which trait would you leave out?
This question gets at the least important trait. It may be argued that the traits that seem least important may not be necessary (and certainly not sufficient) traits for a good friendship.

The three questions above should foster a full discussion, but if you have more time (or want to extend the discussion into another class period), you might also take up the following questions:

A. Can non-human animals be friends to us? Can they be friends to each other? 
Refer to the phrase "a dog is man's best friend." What does the phrase really mean? In what ways can dogs or other animals make for better or worse friends than people?
Ask the students to related their answers back to the qualities on the board.

B. Are there different kinds of friends?
This question can focus on the differences between friends who are, for example, family, family friends, social media friends, school friends, neighbors, etc. Answers will vary.
Are there qualities on the list that are more important for different kinds of friends than for others? For example, perhaps "having fun" is more important for school friends, while "commitment to working through problems"might be more important for sibling friends.

Concluding Activity

  • Ask the students to review the list of qualities on the board and write about one that they believe is a strength for them and one that is a weakness for them, and why. Let them know that this writing will not be shared with other students.
  • Ask the students to write about which quality on the board they think is most important, and why.